Unspeakable

 

John Wesley's commentary on Exodus 34:6 is positively lyrical.  He wrote:  "The springs of mercy are always full, the streams of mercy always flowing; there is mercy enough in God, enough for all, enough for each, enough for ever."  The first time I read those words, I was deeply moved, and they still make me catch my breath.  I didn't grow up being afraid of God, but I didn't start to realize the depth of God's grace and the wideness of divine mercy until I began to really delve into Wesley's theology when I was at Duke Divinity School.  There is something immensely appealing about the belief that grace surrounds us every moment of our lives, even before we know anything about it and that it continues throughout, as the nudges of the Holy Spirit lead us beyond justification into sanctification and finally towards Christian perfection.

Not quite a month ago, I fulfilled a long-time dream and moved to England to serve in the British Methodist Church.  I spent the first two weeks (or fortnight, as they usually say here), in quarantine, and it was an interesting experience. I devoted myself to winnowing out the books that had been left by the former minister, learning to cook on a gas stove, figuring out the dishwasher and other appliances, and starting to get to know the people of the three churches that are my primary pastoral charges, of necessity mainly via telephone and Zoom.  I have been greeted with excitement, with curiosity, and with great hospitality, and the collegiality of the other ministers in the circuit along with the help and encouragement of the superintendents and circuit officers have made this first part of the transition an occasion of grace even as I miss my husband and the familiar things of home.  Someone asked me what I expected to find or experience coming here, and without even thinking, I responded, "Grace.  I expect to find grace as we learn to be church together in a time of pandemic and with all the changes that the corona-times have brought to every aspect of life."  

Today as I joined my clergy colleagues of the North Carolina Annual Conference for the Clergy Session via Zoom, I didn't expect the surge of emotion that engulfed me as I saw familiar faces and heard voices of people I have known and loved for years.  I mourned the loss of being able to be physically present with each other, and I felt the thousands of miles between us in a particularly sharp way.  Unable to talk with my usual support network, I was surprised by grace as new colleagues here in England surrounded me with kindness, understanding, and support. Person after person offered me encouragement, phone calls, and face-to-face tea dates.  I am filled with such gratitude for the beauty of the Wesleyan Connexion that binds all of us together, British Methodists and United Methodists, and all the other branches of the family, the heirs of the revival that emphasized the flowing streams of God's mercy and what Charles Wesley called the "unspeakable gift," the grace that is beyond the power of  human words to describe.  I don't know where this adventure will take me next, but I rejoice in the springs of mercy that are refreshing my soul each and every day.