"If you cannot relieve, do not grieve..."

While at Oxford, Wesley and the other members of the "Holy Club" 

sought to relieve the poor, as reflected in this illustration

As a blogger who also has a Facebook page to promote her writing, I follow various blogs and Facebook pages on related topics.  This morning, one of those pages, Clergy Coaching Network, posted 10 Rules for Addressing Panhandlers.  The article was helpful without being overly prescriptive about what one should do when approached by someone asking for money, offering suggestions for working for long-term, creative solutions to provide housing for all in addition to common-sense approaches to those face-to-face encounters.

The author is Dr. Pete Gathje of Memphis Theological Seminary, and while I don't know his denominational affiliation, it didn't surprise me to see that some of his formal education occurred within the walls of a United Methodist seminary.  Dr. Gathje's espousal of a kind and respectful attitude towards someone making such a request echoes the compassionate way John Wesley responded to the poor of his day and the instructions he gave to the stewards of the Methodist societies as they transacted the temporal affairs of each society.  Rule number 11 specifically refers to the matter of dealing with the poor:

If you cannot relieve, do not grieve, the poor. Give them soft words, if nothing else; abstain from either sour looks or harsh words. Let them be glad to come, even though they should go empty away. Put yourself in the place of every poor man, and deal with him as you would God should deal with you.

I was struck by the utter practicality of his advice.  It's similar to my mother's admonition to keep my mouth shut if I couldn't say something nice.  Wesley is saying in part that if you can't make the situation better, at the very least, don't make it worse.  "Give them soft words, if nothing else; abstain from either sour looks or harsh words."  Wesley knew how easy it is for those who have more of the world's goods to ignore or speak unkindly and to look with disdain upon those who are not so well-endowed, and he urges his stewards in 1747 and by extension, us in 2018, to do what Jesus commands us to do:  to treat everyone as we would like to be treated.

These are wise words for interactions with anyone, not just the poor.  In these contentious times when political discourse is anything but civil and social media inflames these divisions, it would behoove us all to put ourselves in the place of every person with whom we interact.  We all hope that God is a God of mercy whose love for us is everlasting, and we hope that God will deal with us as a gracious and loving mother or father, so why is it so hard for us to treat others as we desire God to treat us? 

John Calvin (left) and John Wesley (right) 

at the John Rylands Library, Manchester

I'm not saying that differences don't matter, and I'm certainly not saying that one should not speak out against injustice or act to draw attention to the plight of the needy and the broken.  There are times when standing up is going to create controversy and draw the ire of others.  What I am saying is nothing more and nothing less than what Christ himself said:  The greatest commandment is to love God above all things, and the second is a very close second, to love your neighbor as yourself.

Looking to the example of our forefathers and foremothers in the faith, we can see that there have been many who have sought to do just that, even when it wasn't fashionable, convenient, or easy.  Can we follow in their footsteps, taking Wesley's practical counsel to heart and putting it into action? In "On a Catholic Spirit," he writes:

Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may. Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences. These remaining as they are, they may forward one another in love and in good works.

Again, this does not mean that anything goes and that we should all simply go our own merry ways.  What it does mean is that Christ commands us to do the harder work of loving each other, not sentimentally or emotionally, but seeking the best for each other, regarding each other as beloved of God and created in the divine image.  How might we do that here and now in this toxic climate of political and religious conflict and disagreement?  What will you do to see and treat your opponent/enemy as your neighbor?  I'd love to hear your answers!