Love Me; Think Always the Best of Me

These are difficult days for the United Methodist Church, days marked by tension and disagreement over matters of biblical interpretation, especially with regard to the status and role of lesbian and gay Christians in the life of the UMC.  There are a lot of blogs and podcasts avidly discussing the crisis point we have reached; this is not one of them.  I'm not going to rehash arguments or try to rally support, not because I don't have an opinion but because I want to promote something else.  While I do not believe we HAVE to split, I do not believe we will avoid it.  But if a rending of the Body of Christ is in fact on the horizon, I would like to plead the following: that we discuss the details of the divorce not only with civility but with love.

John Wesley was never short of opinions and never shy about proclaiming them. Autocratic, patriarchal, and just plain bossy -- he did not necessarily seek arguments, but he would firmly stand his ground even when threatened with physical harm or even death.  He could be persuaded otherwise on occasion, but not by being bullied.  Instead, he sought to be reasonably convinced, especially by recourse to scripture and the traditional teaching of the Church of England.   Above all, he wanted to be able to agree to disagree in a spirit of love, even if a painful break became inevitable.

In his much-quoted sermon "Catholic Spirit,"  he makes his case for the primacy of love in correcting another's wrong understanding, asking that the benefit of the doubt be given, that there should always be an assumption of good intentions in cases of disagreement and conflict.  He writes:

Love me (but in a higher degree than thou dost the bulk of mankind) with the love that is long-suffering and kind; that is patient, --if I am ignorant or out of the way, bearing and not increasing my burden; and is tender, soft, and compassionate still; that envieth not, if at any time it please God to prosper me in his work even more than thee. Love me with the love that is not provoked, either at my follies or infirmities; or even at my acting (if it should sometimes so appear to thee) not according to the will of God. Love me so as to think no evil of me; to put away all jealousy and evil-surmising. Love me with the love that covereth all things; that never reveals either my faults or infirmities, --that believeth all things; is always willing to think the best, to put the fairest construction on all my words and actions, --that hopeth all things; either that the thing related was never done; or not done with such circumstances as are related; or, at least, that it was done with a good-intention, or in a sudden stress of temptation. And hope to the end, that whatever is amiss will, by the grace of God, be corrected; and whatever is wanting, supplied, through the riches of his mercy in Christ Jesus.

A great deal of the conversations that I am hearing/reading appear to be more about scoring points or amusing the listener/reader than about extending grace with an attitude of love that believes and hopes the best of the other.  Applause and cynicism are often the order of the day, colleagues eye each other with distrust and disdain, bishops and participants in the Way Forward Commission process are mocked or denigrated, and everywhere, there are fresh wounds in the Body of Christ.  I've been through one great theological divorce in my former denomination and never thought to see one in the place that welcomed me home, United Methodism. I don't have answers or solutions or really anything new to add.  All I want to say is that we are better than this.  Even if we have come to the end of the line as the UMC, can we not still love one another and if we must part, let it be in sorrow, rather than fury?  As Mr. Wesley writes:

Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may.  Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences.

So to all those with whom I disagree, I pledge to love you and think always the best of you.  I ask in return that you love me; think always the best of me.  And may the compassion and grace of Christ be the healing balm that binds up our wounds and binds us all together again someday.